When we meet new people, this is Amanda's favorite story to tell about me.

I am not a cat person.

When I was very small, four years old or younger, my parents gave me a kitten. More accurately, they let me name it and think it was mine, but they took care of it themselves.

'What's his name, Jeffrey?' they asked me.

'Konk-Konk!' I shouted.

Konk-Konk was a small gray tabby. As far as I'm concerned there is no other type of cat. He was tiny and timid, and I treated him like any child treats a kitten--with forceful love.

I grabbed his legs when he would run away, I pet him roughly as he squirmed and clawed against me, I threw things and demanded he play with them. I was four, and he was a kitten; this was the way it was done.

It was after one of these play sessions, back in my bedroom, that I picked up little Konk-Konk and held him close to me, giving him all the love a four-year-old's attention span could give. I squeezed him tight, then held him out in front of me to look at him.

He had fallen asleep! What a silly cat!

Laughing to myself at the notion that a kitty could fall asleep in the middle of a good strong cuddling, I tightened my grip and marched out to the front room where my Dad was reading. I held him out for inspection. I laughed.

'Kitty ni-night!'

Dad glanced over. 'Yes, Jeffrey, kitty ni--'. He stopped mid-sentence and looked closer.

I was holding Konk-Konk tightly, yes, with both hands gripped firmly around his neck. He dangled limply from my hands, swaying like the weight of a grandfather clock. He ticked away.

Tick, tick, tick.

'Kitty ni-night!' Dad agreed, rushing to take the little cat from me. 'Kitty sure is ni-night, Jeffrey.' He hurried away to another room, closing the door behind him. When he returned, Konk-Konk had been woken from his nap, much to my delight. I reached for him, expectantly.

'I think kitty has played enough today, Jeffrey. Maybe next time I can show you how you're supposed to play with him, okay?'

'Okay!' I yelled. I held my hands together and jumped excitedly. Play with kitty again!

But kitty was never very eager to play with me again after that...never very eager at all.

Probably because we had woken him from his nap.